Blasphemy

Let me preface this post by saying that while I was raised in a Christian home, I was never diligent in reading the Bible on my own.  My mom was always a great example and read and studied her Bible diligently.  To this day, if you go to my parent's house, her Bible is usually on the kitchen table- OPENED to whatever she is reading.  I had always tried those "Read through the Bible in a Year" plans, but by mid- January, I would already be behind and frustrated trying to catch up if I missed a day and then would give up.  About 4 1/2 years ago in Sunday school, we were challenged to read the Bible ten minutes/ day.  So I thought to myself, I will try this and start at the beginning since I had never read the Bible cover to cover.  It took me two years, but I FINALLY read the entire Bible from start to finish. I was so excited at this accomplishment.  During this two-year period, my hunger and desire to study and learn more of God's word grew.  I have been going back through and reading each book (not in any particular order) chapter by chapter and verse by verse.

As I was reading my Bible this morning I came across a verse I don't ever recall reading (obviously I've read it at least once- see above paragraph) or hearing.  

But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost never has forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation.  Mark 3:29

It literally took my breath away.  Have you ever felt the Holy Spirit convict you so heavily, you can almost feel it? <raises hand>  I read and reread it several times to make sure I was reading it correctly.  Then I had to look up the word blaspheme, because while I know the general idea of its meaning, I wanted the exact meaning.  According to Mirriam-Webster, blaspheme means to speak in a way that shows irreverence for God or something sacred.   How many times do we treat the Holy Spirit with irreverence?  Maybe by leaving early from service when the Holy Spirit is moving, by our words, our actions, our attitudes, or maybe by ignoring Him and excluding Him from our churches...  

I had to do a spiritual self-examination right then and there.  I needed to make sure there was no blasphemy in my spirit.  

Lord, forgive me for having an irreverent spirit!  Help me to never become so callous that I am not sensitive to Your calling or prompting.  May I always treat the sacred things of God with the reverence they deserve.

Have a blessed day, and may you always remain  mindful of the Holy Spirit's presence!

  

Don't Worry....Pray!

I hate to admit this, but if there is one thing I'm really good at, it's worrying.  I don't know if it's a control issue, that I need to know everything that's going to happen so I can have a plan or a trust issue- do I really trust God will do as He says.  It's probably both.  I mean, I know God is true to His word, but when it comes down to it, I know He'll do it for others, but I admit I'm guilty of doubting if He will do that for ME.  So I worry...

After a conversation I had this afternoon, what do I do...I start to worry!  I started thinking of ALL the different things that could go wrong.  I was complaining (to myself) and I justified the complaining because of the circumstance.  Then I got this bright idea...PRAY about it!!  (Duh, right?)  So I'm cooking dinner and talking to God about this issue.  And I felt Him say in my spirit, "Jennifer, don't you know that I knew this was going to happen?  Don't you know by now that I have this all figured out?  This did not take Me by surprise."
Me: "Of course you do, Lord.  You always know what's going to happen and will work this out for your will."

I was then reminded of one of the scriptures I read this morning: "It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of anxious toil: for He gives His beloved sleep." Psalm 127:2  
God was telling me not to worry- don't waste energy worrying about it late at night, or wake up early worrying.  Don't give in to the worry.  He has given His beloved (ME!) sleep!  God already knew this morning when I read that verse how my day was going to go and had given me that verse as a reminder and promise that I don't have to worry, He will work everything out.  He ALWAYS does!

I've now got that verse copied and posted beside my bed so I can be reminded of this daily!

Big Changes & Lessons Learned

The Lord has been laying on my heart to share our story for awhile now.  Many of you know our story of moving down to Georgia for a job transfer.  But there are some things that we haven't shared with everyone.  I apologize in advance, as I know it is going to be a long read.  I do hope, however, that it encourages you.

In the fall of 2012, we were sitting in church praying over a couple who was moving south to be closer to family.  Matt and I kind of looked at each other and said, we could totally see ourselves as potential southerners.  I believe this was God preparing us for things to come.

The very next week at work Matt was informed of a new facility opening in Rome, Georgia in May 2013.  This would allow him to have a better opportunity for advancement in his career.  When he came home and told me about it, I could hardly believe it.  We began to research the area and found that the cost of living was pretty similar...not to mention it was close to our favorite vacation spot- the Smokey Mountains.

We had already planned to spend Christmas in Gatlinburg that year, so we decided we would take a day to drive down and explore the area since it was only a couple hours further south.  We checked it out and it was so beautiful.  When you're born and raised in the flatlands of northwest Ohio, there is just something so spectacular about seeing hills and mountains everywhere.  We knew then that this was something we wanted to pursue.  We prayed about it and felt peace with our decision.

2013
We started getting the house ready to put on the market.  At the beginning of March, we listed our house for sale.  We were confident it would sell in no time.

May 15, Matt left for Georgia, but the kids and I stayed behind...still confident the house would sell soon.  May 31, we accepted an offer on our house.  Excitement began to set in.  We really were going to be moving!  Around the end of June, the deal started falling apart.  There were issues with the financing, among other things.  My whole world just crumbled.  It was so rough being away from Matt, seeing the kids cry every night because they missed their Daddy.   I ended up getting so stressed out that I literally made myself sick.  I remember calling my mom to come help me one day because I could hardly get up and walk.  I wondered why God was allowing us to go through this.  I began to become angry with God.  Did we misinterpret the peace He had given us just because we wanted this so badly?

Paying our mortgage and rent for Matt's "apartment" was starting to take a toll on our finances, but we were still hoping for the best.  I remember one morning going to get the mail, and finding an unmarked envelope with $1000 cash in it.  To this day, we have no idea who it was that blessed us, but we are still so grateful.  That act of generosity restored my faith that God still had our backs.  

That Fall we began to talk about the kids and I just moving down so we could all be together.  We couldn't bear the thought of spending the holiday season apart.  So the day after Thanksgiving, we left for Georgia.  

We were elated to be back together as a family...six months separated was not an ideal situation.  I will never recommend that to anyone.  But now we were paying our mortgage and an even bigger rent payment.  But it was worth it to be together again.  We found an amazing church and I finally felt that I was growing in the Word of God again.  

2014

In January we pledged a certain amount of money to our new church for some projects they were hoping to complete.  It was going to be a stretch in addition to two house payments.  But we knew God would bless us for our faithfulness. 

Two weeks later the engine in Matt's car went out.  Seriously?!  Got that replaced.  August- the transmission on our van went out.  You've GOT to be kidding me!  We knew we were going to be needing a new van but wanted to wait until our house sold in case we had to bring money to closing.  At that point all I could do was cry.  Some people may have thought that was a sign that we should never have moved.  I began to wonder the same thing.  Why would God continue to allow these things to happen?  I now believe it was Satan trying to get us to doubt God.

In August, we took our house off the market and  finally began to rent it out.  

Our marriage really began to struggle at the end of 2014- in ways I have never imagined.  Quite honestly, I wasn't sure we were going to make it.  But there was NO way I was going to let the devil win in that area of my life!  He was NOT going to destroy our marriage.  I knew that if our marriage failed, it was not going to be because I didn't give it everything.  

2015- 

We really began to work on our marriage this year.  I am so thankful for God's restoration power.  He has drawn Matt and I closer together than ever before and healed hurts I was positive could never be healed.  

We put our house back on the market in the spring, while still renting it out.  

In the late fall, I kind of began to fall in to a deep, dark place.  I don't really know how to explain it any other way.  I can't think of a particular thing that triggered it.  I know I was feeling like God had forgotten about us.  I remember one Sunday at the end of church, I was almost in tears.  I had come to church with a bad attitude and something that was said at altar call must have struck a chord with me. I knew I should have gone up at altar call.  But being prideful, thinking it was for someone else, I just stood there- holding back my tears.  A sweet little old lady came up to me and asked if I was ok.  Of course, I put on a fake smile and said, "yes."  She told me that the Lord and told her to tell me that He loved me and had not forgotten about me.  I had never seen this lady before and have not seen her since.  I am so thankful for her obedience, because at that point, I really just wanted to run away from everything and everyone.   

2016 (Now it starts to get REALLY exciting!)

One Wednesday in March after church, we were talking with a man whom our family has grown to love and respect.  Somehow we ended up on the topic of our Ohio house and this man (Mr. Steve) asked if he could pray for us.  

The next week was Holy week.  We took communion at church as a family and had a foot washing service.  Afterwards, Mr. Steve said we had been on his heart all week and he wanted to pray over our family about our house again.  After he prayed for us, I felt a tiny spark of hope start to ignite in my spirit again.  

April 3, we paid the final amount we had pledged to our church- a little later than we had anticipated paying that off, but we wanted to be faithful and complete what we said we would.  That week, Matt said it was time to look into getting a new van...the old was starting to cost more than it was worth. We found one we liked and bought it on April 5.  The following Monday, we used the rest of our savings to pay off a small loan.  The VERY next day (April 14), we got an offer on our house.  I could NOT believe it!  I couldn't help but cry because I was overwhelmed!  It was an FHA loan, so not ideal with a 100+ year old house, but we were definitely willing to do whatever we could to make it work.  That was going to have to include a lot of overtime on Matt's part since we would most likely have to make some repairs.  I was so excited to tell Matt we had an offer!  We had waited so long for this moment!  That night, I said, "You know what would be awesome?  If we got ANOTHER offer and it was a conventional loan."  He kind of laughed.  Thirty minutes later, I checked my email one last time before I shut down the computer...we had a SECOND offer with a CONVENTIONAL loan and he didn't ask for ANY inspections or repairs!!  This offer was a little lower than the first one, but we took it because we knew there were a few things the FHA loan was going to require us to fix.  We were going to have to bring money to closing since his offer was a little lower than asking price.  (We had the house listed at that time at the lowest we could go to just break even and be done with the whole process.)  Matt worked HIS BUTT OFF so we would have enough money to pay for the difference needed to pay off the mortgage.  That next week we got two checks in the mail because apparently last year when Claire broke her leg I overpaid (even though I paid what was on the bill).  Then we were supposed to owe a bill for about $500.  Matt went to pay it and it was only $5.00!!  What?!  God was working!!!  

We went back to Ohio to take care of some things at the bank and sign paperwork.  We had a nice visit with our families too.  Came back home and found out what we were going to owe at closing was $800 less than we originally were told!  Praise God!  And we are going to be getting a refund from the homeowner's insurance as well as the property taxes in escrow!  May 25th at 4:45 P.M., the new owner signed the papers and everything was finalized!  I pray that the new owner will make great memories in that house.  It was our first home, and we made some pretty amazing memories there that we will cherish forever.

I have learned SO much over the past three years. 

God's ways are not our ways.  I thought that since we felt this move was what God wanted for us, everything would just fall into place.  It quite possibly could have.  Maybe it just took us a long time to learn some of the things God was trying to teach us.  

For the longest time, I kept trying to figure out, what it was that I was doing wrong that was preventing our house from selling.  It wasn't until very recently that I realized that it has nothing to do with ME!  It was ALL about God!  I tried to do everything in my power to get our house sold.  Everything I did fell short.  When I FINALLY fully began trusting that God would work it out according to His plan is when we started seeing amazing things happening.  Sadly, it took me three years to learn some of these things.   I am so thankful God is patient and merciful.  I am sure at times He felt like I do when one of my kids is continually whining in my ear.  

I know our story is not yet finished.  In fact, I believe it is only beginning, and I can't wait to see what God has in store for us next!  I finally feel like we belong here in Georgia and that we can begin a life here.  There is such a great peace when you know you are exactly where God has called you to be and you are doing what He has called you to do!  

Thanks for hanging in there on this long post.  I truly hope it has encouraged you in your faith.  And thank you to the many people who have prayed for our family these past three years.  Our family is so thankful to have such a great support system.

Lies Girls Believe

I had the privilege of taking the "Lies Girls Believe" session at Hearts At Home this year.  Dannah Gresh was the speaker and she was phenomenal!  She is one of the founders of the Secret Keeper Girls.  They came to our church this past fall, but due to finances I was unable to take Evelyn.  I am so thrilled I was able to hear her speak though.

Here are a couple of statistics I found to be startling:

• 80% of 10-year olds have been on a diet.
• 20% of 10-year olds are underweight.

Since when is normal God's best?

• Bullying peaks at 6th grade- only 20% of those being bullied ever tell someone.

Satan feeds us lies so we won't use our spiritual gifts.

The lies I believe will be passed on to my children OR the truth I believe will be passed on to my children.  Which do you want them to believe?

How to break free from the lies Satan wants us to believe:

1. Identify the bondage (the lies).
2. Ask for God's grace, wisdom, and the counsel of others to help you be free.
3. Stop listening to the lies.
4. Ask God to replace the lies with his truths- transparency.

• What you believe by your 14th birthday, you generally die believing.  
• 21% of those that attend Christian colleges are sexually active.
• 80% of those attending public colleges are sexually active.

Truth is conformity to a standard or original.  The standard for how Christians should live is the BIBLE.  

Daughters don't need self-esteem, but need God-esteem.  If they understand God, they will understand they have value but not think too much of themselves.

3 Truths to set you free:

1. Your primary purpose is to glorify God. 1 Corinthians 6:20 says:  you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your bodies.
2. Your primary purpose is to look like God.  Genesis 1: 26-27 says: 

²⁶ Then God said, “Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals,^[a] and over all the creatures that move along the ground.”

27 So God created mankind in his own image,
    in the image of God he created them;
    male and female he created them.

     3. Your body is a living sacrifice to God.  Romans 12: 1-2 says: Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2 Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

It's great to be a girl!!

I highly recommend reading Dannah's book: Raising Body Confident Daughters and getting the companion book for your daughter: It's Great to be a Girl! 

Ten Stress Strategies Every Mom Needs

Well, since my husband is making me sit on the couch and relax, I suppose I have time to do a post from another class I took at the Hearts at Home conference.  Two posts in one week?!?!

This workshop that I took was also given by Jill Savage.  I desperately needed this workshop.  Sure, a lot of the things are no-brainers, but when incorporated into your life they can make a big difference.  Easier said than done, but I am going to work on making them a regular part of my routine.

1. Take a day off.  On a regular basis.  This does not include my yearly trip to the Hearts At Home conference.  I struggle with this one.  I often feel that just because I no longer work outside the home that I do not deserve to have "time off."  If I am pro-active about taking care of myself, then I lessen my chances of becoming reactive when a "crisis" occurs.  When I take care of myself, I am taking care of my family.  They have a mom who is refreshed, not stressed.

2. Increase margin.  Allow extra time, even for the littlest of things.  When going somewhere, plan for the "emergencies".  Example: Allow extra time in case a child throws up and you have to change their clothes.

3.  Learn to say "no!"  Choose one major and one minor outside the home.  A major includes something you must prepare for.  A minor is something you just show up for.  Where a lot of people get in trouble, is that they choose several minors and they don't take into account all the time to which they all add up.  For me, my one major is AWANA.  I have to prepare for that each week.  My minor is nursery.  I just have to show up once a month.  It is okay to take on more than one minor if, say, one is a one time thing that doesn't conflict with the other minor.  Never say yes on the spot to someone, no matter how noble the cause.  Say "let me think" or "let me pray about it."  (Big issue for me- I have a hard time telling people no, which is usually what gets me so stressed out.)  Choose between what is good and best.  Sometimes you will have to say no to something good and choose what is best for you at that time.  Jill used the example of when she was leading a mom's group in her area.  She was then asked to head up VBS at their church.  VBS is an excellent thing.  However, both were major commitments.  She had to ask herself if she was ready to give up leading the mom's group.  She wasn't.  So she had to say no to leading VBS.  Say to ourselves, I am capable, but am I called?
*After hearing the different mothering personalities workshop, I now understand why I get extra stressed when I over commit.  I am medium-low capacity, meaning I don't enjoy being overly busy.

4.Take care of your body.
Feed it healthful foods.
Hydrate
Move (exercise)
Rest

5. Expect Interruptions.  Unrealistic expectations are preconceived resentments.  This also reminded me of a workshop I took a couple years back that said motherhood is the ministry of interruptions.

6. Proactively refuel.  Take time to recharge before you get completely drained.  For me that is napping on Sundays and having a few minutes of quiet here and there to read a good book.  (That's the introvert in me.)

7. Choose important over urgent.  If you're helping your child with homework and the phone rings, let it go to voice mail.  Your time spent with your child is more important than that phone call.  However, if it's hubby it's ok to answer.  Husbands come before children!  Slowly learning that one.

8. Step away.  It's okay to take a time out.  There are some days when Matt comes home form work where I need just ten minutes to myself, away from the kids.  That's OK!!

9. Ask for help- WITH WORDS!  Stop expecting it to happen.  This does not mean we can slam cupboard doors if need help instead of asking.  (Oops!)

10.  Last on the list, but most important- talk to Jesus!  When we talk to Him, we begin to unclutter our insides.

Embrace Your Mothering Personality

As usual, this year's Hearts at Home conference did not disappoint!  I always come away feeling that I'm not alone, and that I CAN do this whole mothering/wife thing.  It's always a time of refreshment and encouragement.  I am going to be sharing some of the things I learned throughout the coming weeks.  I am going to resist the urge to go in chronological order of the classes I took and share them in whatever order I feel led.

This year I had the privilege of taking two of Jill Savage's workshops.  She is an awesome woman, and I could listen to her speak for hours.  I loved her workshop titled: "Embrace Your Mothering Personality."

Here are the four main points she touched on:
1. Become more self-aware.
2. Stop comparing (this is something I struggle with frequently)
3. Stop trying to be someone you're not.
4. Identify what God wants you to work on.

She discussed five personality traits and their counterparts.  I am going to share the ones that described me, along with the strengths associated with those traits and the area in which I need to grow.

Introvert or Extrovert Mom?
I am an introvert mom.  This has nothing to do with social skills, it just means that I get refueled by being alone instead of with a group of people.  Which is true- I am content to be alone.  An introvert can have several friends, but generally has 1-2 close friends.  Again, I would say that's pretty accurate for me.  Introvert moms also enjoy deeper conversations.  Yep!  My growth point is that I need to intentionally carve out quiet time so I can refuel.

Internal or External Processing Mom?
I am an internal processing mom.  I problem solve by thinking instead of talking things through (sometimes true).  Internal processing moms also tend to be more self aware than external processing moms.  There are several areas I need to grow in.  I need to learn to communicate how I'm thinking better, because my husband and kids may not know what I am thinking.  My husband and children may not really know me well.  I also need to stop internalizing my feelings and learn to get others' perspectives in different situations.  Definitely many opportunities for improvement there.

Innie or Outie?
This is referring to organization.  I am an outie.  I tend to be more relaxed about "stuff".  I find relationships more important than tasks (so true).  I tend to be more easy going.  Some weaknesses include: trouble finding things (describes me to a tee- just ask my husband), clutter may cause chaos (yep), and I might struggle inviting people over.  (See photos below)

Time for a real mom confession.  This week was very hectic.  This is what my living room looked like Monday morning.  We had just gotten back from a trip and I was in the process of getting my stuff ready to sell at Buttons and Bows.

 This is what it looked like Thursday evening when I got home from the sale.  My hubby had vacuumed and picked up the clutter off the floor.  (the basket is from full of hangers from the clothing I bought at the sale.)  I literally had no time to do any house work all week.  Matt was so nice and never said anything about it.

Spontaneous or Scheduled Mom?

This one kind of surprised me.  I'm a spontaneous mom?!?!  Spontaneous moms are well,...spontaneous and FUN!!  Their homes are gathering places, and they tend to be easy going.  They struggle with getting things done...that is true.  They have trouble with their structured children.  They have a hard time getting together with other moms.  They need to learn to schedule things in to make time for them.

Medium-Low Capacity or Medium-High Capacity Mom?

I am medium-low capacity.  These kinds of moms understand the importance of down time.  It's possible that we live more in the moment and are more in tune with our kids and spouse.  We enjoy relaxed conversations.  We do tend to get stuck in ruts.  We have trouble getting things done ( that seems to be a pattern).  We often feel guilty, like we're not doing enough.  

What I took away from this workshop was not to judge other moms with different mothering personalities, just like I would not want them judging me.  God made us all differently, and that's ok!

Psalm 139-13-14

For you created my inmost being;
    you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made;
    your works are wonderful,
    I know that full well.

What a great reminder!

Week of 10/20- 10/28/2014

What a roller coaster of a week!  Last week was filled with anticipation of our friends' pending arrival.  No one could focus on any school work on Monday, so we stopped at lunch time in order to avoid any unnecessary frustration.  What a great time we had playing and catching up with the Nitschke's!  We were sad to see them leave, but excited for them to be reunited with their Marine.

We also learned the frustrations that being a long-distance landlord can bring.  We had a door that needs to be replaced at the old house.  It wasn't that we minded having that taken care of, it was just that being six hundred miles away, we felt helpless on where to even begin.  Thankfully, things are getting taken care of.

I am ashamed to admit that I was mad at God for allowing this to happen, and I let it affect my mood for awhile.  Even though I was happy my friend was seeing her son, I was sad and feeling sorry for myself.  I was lonely because how often does a friend feel that you are important enough to travel six hundred miles to visit?  I wasn't sure the next time I'd see any of my dear friends in person and I just let the poor attitude take over.  Add in the worrying about the expense of the rental repair and I was just plain mad.  Why has God allowed all of this to happen to us?  Haven't we been through enough?  Well, God is sovereign.  He doesn't owe us any explanations on why things happen.  He doesn't guarantee us a life of prosperity and riches, at least not in this life.   Of course, He wants to bless us, but sometimes He allows us to go through things so we can come out better, more able to accomplish the purpose He has for our life.

So by last Wednesday night, I was not in any mood to go to the family night of worship at church.  However, I knew I needed to be there, and it was important to show our kids that we need to worship God no matter the circumstances.  By choosing to be obedient and worship God despite my feelings, I allowed God to minister to my spirit.  We can't always go by our feelings, because those change from day to day.  Sometimes minute to minute.  What we can rely on though, is that God's love in unchanging, unfailing, and unending.

Over the weekend, Matt took Jacob to a bonfire for the middle schoolers.  Funny story- this was called "Fun at the Nunns."  Jacob had been talking about it for awhile.  The whole time I thought they were going to a convent and the nuns were going to make chili and have a bonfire for them...  Well, imagine my surprise when I got the invitation card and realized it was Nunns not nuns.  Can you tell I grew up in a Catholic community?  Jacob had a lot of fun at the bonfire.  They played football, went on a hayride, and ate yummy food...lots of it.  I am so happy that had something fun to do with his church friends.

Here's a summary of what we did in school last week.  I slacked a little on the picture taking.

Jacob has been working on percents in math.  He has been gathering information for his research paper and will be starting on his rough drafts next week.  We finished up our study of ancient Egypt and started reading about Africa long ago.  I really enjoy our history studies.  In science we've been learning about ocean life.

We finished up Charlotte's Web on Friday and had a Charlotte's Web party where we watched the movie and found similarities and differences between the book and movie.

Charlotte and her web

The kids have started reading Stuart Little now,  They seem to be really enjoying it.

Evelyn has been learning about different measurements in math.  She's still working on singular/plural words in language, as well as contractions.  In history she is learning different state locations and reading about George Washington.  We read about the forest community in science.  Evelyn explored the woods beside our house when her friend, Yanna, was visiting.  They found several creatures.

Aiden had the sight words but and she this week.  He worked more on his reading skills.  He measured different objects with a ruler in math.  He even did a fun art project.  As you can see Spiderman also did some school work this week.

graphing our objects after we measured them

letter writing practice

number puzzle

indian vest art project

cutting practice

number writing

counting practice

Claire focused on the letter K.  K is for kite.

letter matching

kite color matching

kite coloring page

kite puzzle

kite pattern blocks

k tracing

kite magnet page

We celebrated letter K with a K party.  We ate kielbasa for lunch and had kit-kats while watching Liberty's Kids (hey, it had a k in it).  

That pretty much sum it up.  Only a few more weeks left until a much needed six week break.  Have a great weekend!